Okama bin Ramen

JAPanMen and JAPanWomen in JAPan are getting too fat for their bone-skinny clothes. Chugging 500-calorie chocolate creek drinks and Big Macs have made Nips who are fat as the most obese in-bred Aryan Supremacist rednecks from the Deep South. Everything in JAPan is AmeriKKKan sized nowdays, poop-pipe enemas to 12-Piece Buckets. Wake up fat JAPpy people and stop senzuri with your kokeshi! McDonalds in JAPan need to rethink their offerings a bit by introducing more seaweed, natto, and roly-poly fish heads into their fare. Only then will Nip's hips be reduced to pre-WW II measurements...

Everything, including bursting condoms while having hot and steamy gay baby-making is made in China-rand nowadays. Nothing is sacred - the last time Okama checked, his cotton diaper he wraps around his nappy head had a cheap label indicating that it was no longer made in Okama-ghanistan. Even Mexican food is made by China-men and China-wimmin. Okama went to his favourite taco stand the other day and found that some Chinkees were frying tortilla chips in the backdoor kitchen. Apparently, they got fired for goosing their Peking duck heads whilst making dim sum hot buns at the chop suey take away - their previous job. That's some Chinese rice porridge Okama will miss dearly.

Prix fixe dêjeuner menu - 195 (in '$' not pesos):


Corona Sake bomb - Jap jizake dropped in Mexican jumping bean brew make for an explosive A-bomb experience only rivaled by Hiroshima and Nagasaki times two-and-a-half.


Tuna Tacos - Spoilt Tsukiji tuna wrapped in corn tortillas make eating this beaver out just like the real thing.


Okama bean Ramen - Ramen noodles made from chopped flour tortillas and the white, cloudy refried-bean miso horny soup make for a protein-enriched and rather tart taste-bud sensory piss-butt overload.


Mochi Flan - Inside this traditional Mexican dessert, one can find a moldy piece of mochi in all its fuzzy orange and green glory. It is said that the mold growth in JAPanese rice cakes have an effect similar to penicillin and other antioxidants. If the Tuna Tacos didn't send you running for Imodium, this MexiNip fusion dessert will certainly end your day with Hershey squirts.

Nowadays, Chinamen and rice chasers are switching in droves from 35mm film cameras to digitalized camera devices. These cameras use a device called a 'CCD' (Choked Chicken D!ckbarf) to capture the image of losers like Okama shooting pocket pool in front of his Internets-enabled cumputer. The major issue with digitalized cameras are that a new one is stuffed down the throats of innocent consumers every month. This is referred to as the "Digitized Camera Megapixels Race Relations." A 'megapixels' refers to more than 10,000 picture elements which make up a wank-worthy pornography photo. The camera which notable photographer Ansel Adams used had less than one megapixels. Wassup, Okama's digitalized camera features 2 megapixels! However, this month, low and behold, a three-megapixels camera was introduced at the PMA show. There is no end in sight of the digitized camera race war and there is no love nor peace in the short term...