Okama bin Ramen

Gaijin like Carlos Ghosn and Sir Howard Stringer are taking over JAPan with the ferocity of a
delusional Edo-period shogun!

First it was with Mazda, the JAPanese car company whose cars bar the MX-5 and RX-7 and 8 were utter crap. Mazda got bent up the cornhole by the white socialist slavemaster Henry Ford. Then followed the other NIPpon car companies – Mitsubishi, Suzuki, Subaru, and Nissan. Nissan is at least run by a fellow camel-jockey Carlos Ghosn (pronounced ‘Go-sun’). Go • camel • fudgepackers!

After cars, the white man violates the forbidden territory of Oriental consumer electronics, the holy grail of JAPanese techmology where traditionally they were able to make absurdly small vibrators and upskirt cameras.

So now Sony is run by a Welshman Sir Howard Stringer. This is abhorrent! Wales isn’t even a country for christsake! It’s a sh!thole spec of a dumpster in the depressing U.K. If it weren’t for the British WRC Rally ObR wouldn’t give a toss about the bugger of a place. But Okama digresses.

So what’s next in line for the hakujin acquisition? I believe these are possible targets:

- Tokyo Tower – The white man is going to turn this into a huge homo dildo.
- NHK – Gay gaijins are going to transform the JAPanese national broadcast station to produce only reality and talk shows
- Uniqlo – GAP will buy them out. Not a huge difference then.
- MUJI – Zen-themed plain-jane lifestyle products will be acquired by IKEA.
- Tokyo Disneyland – They are going to stop selling Mickey Mouse rice cake gift boxes and no more kimono-clad Minnie Mouse frolicking in front of the Snow White castle!
- Universal Studios Japan – Okama hasn’t been there but more of the same as NIPpon Disneyrand.
- Ito-Yokado (7-Eleven Japan) – No more onigiri and oden! Say konnichiwa to microwave burritos and Slurpees served by Sundeep!
- McDonald’s Japan – Say sayonara to the Teriyaki Burger! Hello double-six-dollar burger with pastrami sh!t blood special.

JAPan is being wanked by whiteys and there is no end to this rape and pillage.

Services Offered:

- Hardware upgrade
- Software upgrade
- Firmware upgrade
- Erectile dysfunction downgrade
- Featured system:

• 9.11kHz Okama Engine binary integer processor
• 9.1.1 Super Okama BIOS (Butt In-Out Sex)
• 9.11MHz hard (gay sex) drive
• 911kB ROM (Random Okama Memory)
• 911MB RAM (Ramadan A$$hole Memory)
• 911TB SRAM (Super Ramadan Assam Memory)
• 9.11-inch LCD LSD TFT OLED O.P.I.U.M. screen
• 9.11x CD-ROM hard drive removable storage
• OkamaSoft WinObR operating system (vers. 9.1.1)
• Make your own snuff movies with oMovie, burn your gay Freddy Mercury music with oTunes, and organize your t@welhead family photos with oPhoto.
• USB (Ukama Sukebe* Bus) and OkamaWire fudgepacking connectivity
• Computer doubles as suicide bomb in self-destruct sequence mode (special 'blue-screen of Okama' keyboard shortcut - Ctrl-Start-Insert-Enter you dirty gaylord)
• Information Superhighway Cyberspace browser included - Mosaic 1.0
• 9.11 months free ISP OSL (Okama Subscriber Line) included. Service starts on eleventh of September.
  

* 'Pervert' in Japanese

ObR is saddened by the recent atrocities committed by the Chinamen and Chinawimmin, demonstrating their hatred of the Nips in mainrand China. Okama sees no justification for this hate. ObR only wants love and share, hugs and care, and all that soporific fuzzy emotional crap. We should all get along, g@@ks, F.O.B.s, and Chiggers. Here are his justifications that JAPan and Chinaland should get along. Just look at all the shiznit they have in common!

• The Chinese and Japanese loveshafts are the size of chopsticks
• Both eat raw fish
• Both eat raw ramen
• Both have slanted slits for eyes
• Neither can drive
• Both have bad taste in pop music, mainly consisting of boy- and girl-groups
• Both have sh!tty fashion taste – the devil does wear Prada…
• Both have been funked by da white man
  

Clearly the similarities are endless. Both countries must amend ties and start humping each other gay-porn style.

Those who know ObR know that ObR is into stereo equipment. ObR likes to blast Ravi Shankar and watch 9/11 action replays on his home theatre system. The 1979 Iran hostage crisis is also ObR's favorite home-theatre footage. Oh yeah, Okama also likes to listen to belly dance music too with the volume knob turned way past 11. ObR hates corporate crap though, and there is one specious company that comes to mind that bothers him. ObR is sad that Dr. Amar Gopal Bose, a fellow towelhead (he is Bengali) has sold out to the masses. ObR will attempt to debunk some 'Bose myths.' Hold on to your seatbelts boys and beeyotches because ObR is going to spread his venom!

- "Better Sound Through Research" - First of all, Bose speakers sound like s#!t! Go to any recording studio, high-end audio store, or Okama’s cave dwelling and one will never find any Weapons of Bose Destruction.
- Bose® Direct/Reflecting® speaker technology - Pure B.S. No speaker in a recording studio uses this design. What about at home? If anything, one has to minimize reflections so one needs to point the speakers toward the listener stoopid idiot!
- Bose® Acoustimass® speaker technology - A fancy name for what is called a bandpass sixth-order enclosure. Of course, if anyone tries to build one and sell it, Bose's corporate lawyers will be knocking on your door suing your a$$.
- Acoustic waveguide speaker technology - This is nothing new ignoramus. It's just a marketing-enhanced bulls#!t misnomer for a type of loudspeaker enclosure called 'transmission line'. Of course Bose patents the stupid thing and then sends out corporate lawyers to sue 'patent infringers.'
- Jewel Cube® speakers - Haven't you heard of 'tweeters' you gaylord?

Okama thinks Mr. Bose should go back to India to watch 5-hour Bollywood movies eating tikka masala with his dirty gaylord hands.