Okama bin Ramen

Japan's ministry of education has now admitted that their initiative of yutori kyoiku (cram-free edumacashun) sucks like Okama's salty balls. Originally designed to take the pressure off entrance-exam-paranoid-suicidal JAPpy-kids, yutori kyoiku was supposed to create more musicians, artists and poets. Reality was that most NIPpy-kids ended up playing Dragon Quest VIII (or with their sperm pumps) on Saturdays, which used to be a half day of skool. Stop the wanking children! Let's reinstate entrance-exam hell and corporal punishment for these lazy slope kids so Japan doesn't become like North Korea! Ret's go back to Saturday skool!

Burberry is sadly no longer made by the now-redundant Welsh workers, as their Treorchy factory is closed. It is to be now produced using chopsticks, not knitting needles, by Chinamen and Chinawomen in an illegal sweatshop in Chinaland. Burberry is no longer British as soapy peas, and The Queen will revoke their royal seal of approval. Okama thinks the Welsh factory can still be kept British by opening a new location on Brixton High Street and employing disenfranchised Paki-Pakis making the scarves that Nippy high-school ko-gals go ga-ga over.