Okama bin Ramen

Okama is a bona-fide audiophile, and reads many magazines on stereophonic reproduction technology. But most people who are not from Okama-ghanistan are ignorant and have no idea about how to get most musical satisfaction out of their LP phonographs and tapes. Have no fear lost peeps! - Okama is here, shagging sheeps! Ugh, ugh! Cough, cough! Um, OK, excuse the Okama. He will now demystify erroneous buying habits of the common consumer. Please take note punters before patronising your favourite high street hi-fi emporium.

• Boom boxes or Bose? - There are only two ways to get good sound. Okama doesn't usually recommend any brands, to keep his web site bias-free, however he must take exception to his self-imposed embargo and recommend the two titans of the home-theatre trade - Sony and Bose. Sonic bliss will be guaranteed when buying sound equipment from these two legends.
• Always listen to MP3s - Originally invented by the Nazis, the MP3 technology allows mere mortals to listen to music that's less than half the size of CDs! Leave it to the Krauts to pack so much schokolade fudge into their musical notes. Kraftwerk never sounded the same!
• Cables matter! - Don't choke your system with that thin chicken wire! For proper conduction of electro-magnetic sonic particles, good cables with superior audible attributes are de-riguer. Just like fine wine costs more but tastes better, the same principle applies to audio plumbing. As a rule of thumb, budget at least a third of your budget for cables, and ensure that the cable diameter exceeds the weed whacker of a Thai kathoey.