Okama bin Ramen

Okama, is a connoisseur, and at the forefront of many life pursuits, one of them being digital photography. He has dissected the until-now untold secrets of digital photo camera purchasing. This is the information high street shops don't want you to know, now divulged selflessly from Okama's good will and kind heart.

• Megapixels - The more the merrier! Ensure that the charged-coupled device megapixel count is in the millions to avoid serious disappointment. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to see one, two, even three-million picture elements in the imaging sensor. Count them all - if you can.
  
• AA batteries - How many times have you been at the important wedding or sporting event, just to find out that the proprietary rechargeable batteries are out of spunk juice? What good is this shirt-pocket exploding lithium technology if it's spent? The very best digital photo cameras incorporate AA battery-compatible capability. No more missed money shots!
  
• ISO sensitivity - A digital photo camera that has very high International Organisation for Standardisation sensitiveness is increasingly desirable. Nowadays, it is not uncommon to encounter digital photo cameras that have ISO sensitivities in the hundreds. A high rating helps illuminate dark shots, so crank it up like it's going out of style!
• Movie mode - Make your own onion-bhaji Bollywood-blockbuster spectacle you srumdog mirrionaire! The latest digital photo camera technology has enabled motion film to be captures on a still camera! Teamed up with Windows XP Movie Maker (TM), it's Hollywood at home.
  
• Zoom - The 2x, 3x or 4x zoom capability now offered in digital photo cameras allows pervs on the Yamanote line snap close and tight upskirt shots. Pity the poor sukebe bloke who set his mobile in the ladies room in a Tokyo park to automatically take photos! If only his digital photo camera had a zoom function, he could have snapped super-okama hentai voyeur pictures.
  

There you have it, whether you are ready or not, the above Okama top tips are all one needs to shoot photography rivalling Ansel Adams and Henri Bresson.