Okama bin Ramen

4,000 year of China history bring you sum good food to die for (in Tienanmen Square). No speak Engrish, you round-eye tourist-trap victim, so order by number. Phuk yu!

# 13. Thirteen Good Rucky Number in China-land for China-man. Anyhow this item call "Chop Chop Chop Suey," because it come quick! - £3.95
# 17. Panda Meat Sukiyaki (don't worry WWF-crazed white man, panda die naturally due to bamboo deforestation) - £4.95
# 23. Chicken-Choking Chow Mein (Shrimps £1 extra charged) - £3.95
# 42. Bad Dog, No Scooby Snack (Seasonal). So solly, this meal depend on how many unfortunate stray dog show up behind our kitchen in alleyway. - £1.95 (because meat content originally free)
# 51. Steamed lice (Chinese bedbugs) - 50p
# 72. Powdered Melamine-Based Funky Congee Dessert - You feel rucky? Then our monkey-spanking chef dare you to try kidney-stone-in-pee-pee-inducing concoction.
# 88. Chinese herbal tea - You horny sailor? Then drink this with many good herb for you, including ground rhinoceros horn and seahorses, both proven afro-disiac. Other herb include such ones like aconitum.

Note: All food served in ecological conscious bowls made from bamboo leaf pooped out by giant panda to reduce carbon footprints.