Okama bin Ramen

We must stop bashing China for all that ails humanity. Just because those Chinamen and Chinawomyn poop in our egg foo young, this is no excuse for the rampant anti-Chinko sentiment. Yes, there is lead paint used in Chinky children's toys that AmeriKKKan children ram through their cornholes, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Lead enemas may contain anti-cancer agents as well, as reported in a recent entry in the scientific journal, Nature. Yes, Beijing's air quality is so bad it not only chokes your lungs, but also your chicken. However, they must move on and have The Olympic Games in 2008 - year of the Ratatouille. We should all sit down at a chop suey joint and throw a dash of melamine on our food along with a bottle of MSG.

Okama will perform some mythbusters on common misconceptions about the Macintosh personal computer system.

• Macs are expensive - FACT - Macs cost too much. Only an Okama would want to bend over and hug the porcelain goddess to surf for free gay pron and use electronic mail on this platform.
  
• Macs are slow - FACT - Macs do not run the latest processors that PCs use, such as the Pentium Pro. Instead, CPUs such as the PowerPC 601 and other Motorola processors are used, which are anachronistic and not en vogue.
  
• Macs don't work with PCs - FACT - Macintosh personal computer systems use AppleTalk for networking, which is incompatible with Windows Longhorn.
  
• Macs don't run Microsoft Office - FACT - Microsoft Office development has been long canceled for the Macintosh and people are stuck using AppleWorks.
  
• Macs are for artists - FACT - Macs are only used by okama starving artists and other gaylord pursuits. No rational and straight sexual-orientated person would compute on such an apparatus.
  

If you haven't noticed, the quality of music has gone downhill. Music is highly compressed nowadays, and Okama cannot tolerate the cacophony associated with it. The culprit is what is called MP3 music algorithm techmology, developed by Frau Farbissina laboratories in Nazi-land, which digitally squeezes files using the miracle of modern computing. Think of it as a trash compactor for packing fudge. Okama found out why MP3, or More Punani Three techmology sounded so dissonant to his golden ears, and discovered that the algorithm techmology was trans-sexually modifying whole notes in to quarter notes, half notes into eighth notes, treble clefs into tenor clefs, and so on and so forth. Now that one knows why trans-testicular music compression is bad for your colon, Okama hopes people will listen to more LPs and Elcaset tape-based Muzak.