Okama bin Ramen

The new word in town is that iPods, the overpriced MP3 player, is a mass murderer! It kills ears, rendering them useless (i.e. "WHAT? You'll have to speak up since Okama's been blasting Kelly Clarkson in his cave again!"). AmeriKKKans have banded together to fight Apple since it's their fault for not providing a safeguard, like the Froggie (French) iPods which limit sound output. And what's with those rim-job ripoff iPods anyway? A new one comes out every month, draining the dingles out of ObR's Gay Tariban funds. The new iPods are thinner, but so is Okama's wallet.

Despite repeated promises otherwise, AmeriKKKa continues to send NIPpon BSE- (Bovine Spongy-stuff Encephallatio) tainted McBurgers. Due to the lack of cheap hakujin beef, JAPanese beef-bowl chains, such as Matsuya has had to force feed overweight punters pork bowls instead. Beef bowls are the staple of the JAPanese blue collar, such as lorry drivers and construction workers. Without Yoshinoya, gaylords will be forced to rectally consume Happy Meals up the bum. Enema style. And just look at the rainbow-coloured vomit these Mad Cows spew!

The Danes, who are known for tins of cheap biscuits and ham have desecrated The Prophet. Okama is very upset and is going to spearhead a boycott of all Danish goods, unless her name is Rie Rasmussen. ObR is also going to throw away all his Legos out of his cave dwelling. Bye bye Bionicle, (don't) miss you Mindstorms. Okama plans to dump his ecco shoes for granola-eating-biodiesel-snorting-hippie Birkenstocks. Finally, 'just say no' to Bang & Olufsen, the overpriced audio equipment manufacturer for Volvo-driving yuppies.